just here bald

so here I am in my room at humc. I am at my second of chemo. It kills my stomach and I lost my hair three weeks after the first round with a hospital stay for an infection. I am lonely here and so so bored. I want to beat this. and i want this over with. I shaved my head when I saw all my hair coming out in clumps. it felt freeing like I was in more control. Though I am still self conscious with the look. I know these steps will all lead to the big stem cell transplant. I have dreams I hope to fullfill. I wanna be the artist I know I can be. I wanna go to med school and move forward with my education. I want more. So this is just one step i am stuck in before I move on. I am not looking foreward to the chemo 2nite. the thought has my stoach turning inside out.