down on art

ever since i got sick and ever since my last show, I feel my artistic self has lost itself. I have not worked on anything new or been in any new shoaws. Have I lost my creativity? I feel it I have. Where did I go wrong? I blame myself for much of how my carreer went. Did I choose the wrong internships that took me no where? I envy a couple of my colleagues who were able to get into film and photo with ease. Now I am planning a wedding as well and that is not going well since we had to postpone it due to my illness. I need to work from home I can feel it. My health calls for it at this point. I want to write but write what I want to with no constraints. And the next question like always is then how? I know for sure I plan to go to the PI to start a film carreer. that def would be for the best for me. Being an artist in the usa is not easy. its been frustrating for me. its held me at a bank job for years. A job I need to leave. My head screams for creativity.