scared

I am scared. Saturday is the big day of my stem cell transplant. There was a hold back today. I went to get dental x-rays and I have two infections which may or may not hold me back on treatment. I am terrified of my treatment. I am afraid of how it will make me feel. I feel alone like no one understands. And my sister has been acting like the biggest bitch lately. She yells at me like its my fault when hospital admin fuck up. I have no control over that. Why does she not understand that? Is she not having enough sex? I dunno. I hate to say things like that but when you act like that it so comes off that way. Tonight I am trying to get some stuff done before I am admitted into the hospital, like some bills and paperwork. I am hungry right now. I want falafels. LOL>